Archive for March 31st, 2006

Bud Selig, the milquetoast puppet of a commissioner who has run baseball worse than he ran the Milwaukee Brewers, has announced that baseball will investigate steroid use by players. But since the inept bastard didn’t put his foot down until 2002, he concedes that it would be difficult to punish any player who used before that time. It didn’t dawn on Bud, an owner himself before being installed as a puppet commissioner in 1992, that performance enhancing drugs were wreaking havoc on the integrity of hallowed records until Sammy Sosa hit 60 home runs with more regularity than Reggie Jackson hit 30.
In other developments, Selig was "disappointed" when informed that Cuba, the runner up in the 2006 World Baseball Classic, was a Communist country.

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